the many faces of adhd

A personal reflection

Tara Carman-French—Director/ADHD Coach

The different ways ADHD presents in my family are just awesome.

My husband and I are about to go on vacation. The car will pick us up and take us to the airport at 3:00 p.m. It is now 12:30, and neither of us can sit still and relax. Everyone keeps telling us to just enjoy, sit, and chill out. Yeah, right.

I am catching up on my article writing. You see, I finally have a calm brain. Okay, a calmer brain. I’m not at work with a million things to do, so I can have some creative time, which I love! I need something to burn up all the pent-up energy due to the excitement of going away, so I’m writing.

My husband is currently vacuuming the basement. That’s my son’s job. After this morning, we have the cleanest house we have had in months. Too bad we are going away and can’t enjoy it.

We talked to our oldest child today, who is finally learning to drive at 25 years old. We were told that if you learn to drive in a parking lot, you can be charged with reckless driving. Yeah, we laughed at that, too. What you need to understand is that my child’s brain craves excitement. Everything becomes a drama, and we constantly challenge the narratives that we are told.

Our youngest child is struggling to finish high school. Unfortunately, this child does not live with us full-time, so we don’t have many options to help in this area. It is the last semester, but the interest in schoolwork is becoming difficult to maintain, particularly when there has been an offer of an apprenticeship in an area of intense interest. We will keep working to ensure that this one graduates successfully.

Our middle child fluctuates with remembering tasks and getting up on time for work. When things are going smoothly, this child is totally on the ball! Up on time, getting things done, anticipating what needs to be done. Then, suddenly, for no clear reason, everything becomes bumpy again. It is painful to watch the struggle and self-judgement when things aren’t running so smoothly. We keep working on self-forgiveness and self-esteem.

ADHD is not one size fits all. It is different for all of us. Having patience and understanding for everyone’s individual struggles is what keeps our family close and strong. A