I spent the bulk of my adult life as an undiagnosed individual struggling with ADHD. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that there was anything different about me, I just thought I was never enough.
Post-secondary education is where it really caught up with me. I couldn’t focus on lectures. I struggled to complete homework. Being on my own and having to look after laundry, cleaning, shopping, cooking, and keeping on budget along with my homework just felt impossible. I had a ton of self-doubt regarding if I should even be in school. I felt far to dumb to be there. Everyone seemed to have their stuff together and I was struggling to keep up with the simplest of things.
The school did notice that there was something wrong. They suggested I take a learning strategies course. It helped a little. I know now that it wasn’t aimed at people who have ADHD, so their organization, prioritization, and time management strategies never worked for me because I wasn’t struggling in the ways they thought I was. Proper identification is very important.
Eventually, I dropped out. It took me far more years than I wish to disclose here to obtain my degree.
Initially, my work life ended up successful. I spent 15 years working in theatre across Canada. Being in a fast paced, creative, flexible environment really helped me to shine. Although, I struggled to fit in and always felt like an outcast. Looking back, I realize that I was immature compared to my peers. I imagine they saw me as incredibly awkward and very inappropriate at times. I couldn’t see any of this in the moment, but I felt it and my self-esteem suffered. So did my decision making.
I flitted through many relationships, both long and short term throughout my life. I couldn’t maintain a good relationship with anyone, particularly as a life partner. I really wasn’t a good partner to myself, let alone trying to support or stand beside anyone else. My saving grace was that I was able to establish and maintain very long-term friendships. Today, I was reminded by one of my good friends that we have known each other for 30 years!
When I first started working with Artemis, I wasn’t sure that this was my thing. It was incredibly different than theatre and didn’t hold much interest for me. Until I was assessed, and it opened my eyes to what I had been struggling with all along. Finally, there wasn’t something wrong with me. My brain was built differently. It became my mission to help others see themselves and their struggles in a better light.
My interpersonal relationships also improved after diagnosis and treatment. I have a close family relationship with my husband, children, and extended family, and we are compassionate about all of our unique struggles. Sure, we still have difficult times and don’t always see eye to eye, but we are solid, overall.
I had some grief over what could have been had I been recognized early. My path would have been so much easier. The thing is, I wouldn’t change anything at this point. I am who I am because of my struggles, and I am happy with me.
How can we help make you happy with you?
